Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize