she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
