Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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