things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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