I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
