I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
