if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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