Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
