At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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