Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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