He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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