I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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