Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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