I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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