his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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