you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
