The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize