Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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