One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
