He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
