We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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