At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have already put on my inside pants.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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