it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
