Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
