they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
