all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
