so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
