Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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