If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
