that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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