WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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