did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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