I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
