WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
