he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
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We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
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I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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