No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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