Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
