I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
