babies were throwing up all over the place
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
