Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
