Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
