when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
