they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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