wat bout pragnant strippers??
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
