I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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