K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
