I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
