So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
