for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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