Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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