he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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