Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
