my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
