Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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