we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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