Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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