I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
