you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
how drunk are you?
Several
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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