So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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