The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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