fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
