did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize