I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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