if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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