dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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