I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
