I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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