i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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