just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.