Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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(443): View more from Maryland

you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

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(315): View more from New York

he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

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(956): View more from Texas

You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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(804): View more from Virginia

he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

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(818): View more from California

Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old

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(419): View more from Ohio

having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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(239): View more from Florida

I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever

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