what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
