I think im going to throw up on grandma
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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