i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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