To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think your dad took our porno
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
