So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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