Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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