3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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