Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
